Persistence. Determination. Fortitude. The second part of the success triangle is all about tenacity. In the first post on the success triangle, we discussed the importance of focus. Focus is the base of the triangle. Without it, we can not build lasting success. Once focus is established, we need to make sure we don’t suffer from a lack of tenacity. Tenacity is the ability to get kicked in the teeth, and move forward. Tenacity kicks in when everyone else quits. When the roadblocks come, and they will, being tenacious will be the one factor that allows you to move forward. So the question becomes: Are you born with tenacity, or is it developed over time?
Nature Vs. Nurture
Most people believe tenacity is something you are born with. They feel as though either you have that “let’s get this done, no matter what” attitude or you don’t. The majority feel tenacity is not something that can be developed. There is a word that describes this sort of thinking: EXCUSES.
I know, I know. I am not supposed to pick on other people’s opinions. Everyone is entitled to believe what they want. However, I think this is part of the problem. It is easy to say that you’re either born with tenacity or you’re not. That way, when things go wrong, it becomes excusable to quit. Most people with sympathize with this sort of thinking and will even console you when things don’t go your way. They will help come up with all the reasons why it’s not your fault, and it wasn’t meant to be. I call bullshit.
Pick any two-year old. Any one of them. Pick one from every street in the country. Pick one from every street in any country. Put them all together in a group. What one trait do they all have in common?
Yep… TENACITY.
You see, most toddlers have not been told “no” enough to believe something isn’t allowed or isn’t possible. Most of the time, when you tell them “no,” they fight it, either by asking why, or trying a different tactic to get the same result. Yet, as they grow older, and adults continue to tell them “no,” they begin to conform.
Conformity is the deathblow to tenacity.
Once you begin to conform, you forget how to question things. You forget how to try different tactics. In part because your support system, the people you love, are the one telling you to conform in one way or another. In part because it’s easier to conform than to continue questioning, continue looking for other ways to get the result you want.
Tenacity is just like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger your source becomes. However, the sooner you stop using it, the sooner you lose the ability to reach down in your gut and push forward. Remember, it is always easier to quit…and the more you develop the habit of quitting, the easier it becomes. So the answer to the nature vs nurture question is we are all born tenacious. What most of us nurture is the behavior of quitting.
The Immigrant Factor
Most of us have come across a fair amount of immigrants in our lives. Some of us are the sons and daughters of immigrants. What is the one thing that the majority of immigrants have in common?
An undying resolve to get ahead, move forward, and create a better life for themselves and their families.
I myself and the son of immigrants. Growing up, I was surrounded by many other immigrant families. One thing that was always drilled into me and my friends was this sense of fortitude. This belief that you can overcome anything. As an adult, I realize this was in part because many immigrants have always had to fight for what they wanted. They couldn’t afford to take “no” for an answer, just like the toddlers. When something didn’t work, they had to dig deep for the strength and resolve to find another solution. “No” is not in their vocabulary.
The funny thing is the harder these immigrants fought, the stronger their ability to be tenacious became. Like I said earlier, it’s just like a muscle that needs development.
Today some of the most successful people on earth are immigrants, and those born as first generation Americans.
Why?
Because they understand as long as you don’t quit, as long as you push forward, as long as you always get up to fight another day, you will be successful.
Tenacity is the second pillar of the success triangle. If you are struggling with your ability to be tenacious, take a day off, and go somewhere peaceful. Think back to when you were a child, and think back to all the two-year olds you have ever encountered. Bring that feeling of certainty back to life within you and make a promise to yourself to never, ever, quit. Visualize what life would look like for you if you never gave up when the bad stuff happens. If instead of making excuses and playing the victim, you created alternative solutions. You would empower everyone around you to do the same. You will become a better version of you.